Fiction · Nick P · Poetry · Short Stories · Uncategorized

Natural Production

Recently I  was diagnosed Bipolar, just like my mom (also a writer.) I feel like writing should come natural to me at this point. I suppose to a degree it does, but it’s always getting started that bothers me. I keep coming back to Bukowski who said if its not burning and yearning and exploding out, then don’t write it. But I need to write everyday, I know. I find my lyrics bland and self absorbent. narcissistic and trite. just….not any fucking good. I’ve lost touch. But im thinking of getting back on that horse, (this is proof) and just let the words start flowing again. it doesn’t help that i have SO MUCH stress on me now.

Anyone consider themselves a criminal? I mean we’ve all broken the law. Whether you were speeding or you just had to have that $200 dress, (thats for you high school  girls.) welp! I’m a criminal. and the worst part is, I kind of like it. Sure music and writing and movies keep me entertained, Vacations never happen, so occasionally im a bad boy. Its actually amazing i dont have a record. its all been dismissed. HA! well im paying for some charges now that could land me in the slammer, but i think it will all play out well.

anyway keep an eye out for new song videos and prose and poetry coming at ya! I think I’ll be writing again very soon.

Nick P

Fiction · Poetry · Uncategorized

Phantoms

no choice but to walk in circles
on synthetic stain-resistant earth.
to keep him at bay.

nevertheless, chattering fingertips push softly
just enough fervor to excorcise these…
Phantoms, i suppose.

fickle as the morning dew,
as unforgiving as God.

by another word they are unjustly called,
like the carpet beneath me,
swimming the chemicals in my brain
a fugazi, the Phantom, pushing for war
a war already lost, a war not worth the spoils.

Poetry

Time to Time

Its so easy when you know just how to read between the lines

its like stopping the time when I look in your eyes.

Thought it was only situation but after the conversation

I know it’s a revelation for me because,

 

I know we’re breakin all the rules

 

And I promise I’ll better than that.

Promise me you’ll try and keep your cool

another word and you’ll make a bigger fool outta me.

 

But my baby doesn’t love me cuz she don’t know what’s it like

To pass the hands of judgment time to time.

It looks so good on the surface but you know it can’t be right

So it all comes crashing down on us tonight.

Poetry

The Knight in Rusty Armor

“The Knight in Rusty Armor”

The knight in rusty armor
Finds a princess by a lake.
Each day he returns, and each day she waits.

Then limb by limb, he started to peel,
As his armor then changed,
From bronze to fine steel.
He ran to his love
To explain what she’d seen,
But she seemed so confused,
She’d seen no such thing.

He stood there as always,
The knight that she knows.
No rust on his mail,
No change in his clothes.

So off to the castle,
a king he’d soon be.
Never knowing that castles
were so hard to heat.

No matter the season,
The castle was damp,
Because  it was lit by only…
just…a few lamps.

But never did our king rusty knight,
His now queen princess,
Or their little prince mike,
Shiver from cold
Or get get scared in the night.

For their castle was filled with love.

And it warmed their hearts,

Made the dark hallways bright,

And it made that cold castle…
just right.

Fiction · Poetry · Short Stories · Uncategorized

The Universe Spoke

Everyone knows Robert Frost, The Road Not Taken is one of the most monumental pieces of poetry from any generation. It speaks volumes about our decisions in life, and helps give us the courage to make tough calls and follow our own path. In the life of a artist, this can be a very frustrating and painful dichotomy. How do we know we’ve made the right decision? “Knowing how way leads on to way,” we don’t often get second chances, and you certainly can’t rewind when things get tough. A life of artistry is that of pain, hardship, and sacrifice. It can be easy to doubt yourself, and when that doubt creeps in, it’s infectious, it’s parasitic. Doubt is your greatest enemy. And life rarely gives you any affirmation of your choices, so its up to us to see the beauty in our choices…our success AND our failures. The last 3 years of my life have been particularly hard for me, but just recently the Universe reached out and reminded me that I am unique, and though my road has been wrought with pain and pleasure alike, it most definitely has made the difference. I may still be a poor artist, but I am rich in experience, and for that I am extremely grateful.

This poem was written Nov. 9 2009.

“Less Traveled”

after coming so far,
he turned back,
saw the distance expanding
where he once tread,
and realized
he couldn’t see the way home.

Miles down the road less traveled
he wonders if the difference made
was the right one.
the overgrown flora begins
to look less like promising unknown
and more like his nightmare.
tangled in the dangling ivy
his limbs grow tired and heavy.
His mind fatigued from
living inside itself.
he begins to falter,
second guess where he never has.

after coming so far,
he turned back,
saw the distance expanding
where he once tread
and wondered how
he could ever find his way home.

On Dec. 14, 2013, I caught up with an old friend from college. Many of my old speech  teammates and friends now have successful careers in their field and I couldn’t be more proud. I love my friends and wish them all the best. I chose a different path. I was once “career oriented” and was definitely “in my field.” But for all the time I spent telling myself THAT is what I wanted, it never really felt true. So I quit.  And i went back to working in a restaurant. But we as people tend to judge ourselves by comparing our successes to those of our peers. Seeing the roads each of us has taken and sharing our stories. This helps to affirm our choices.  When asked what had transpired over the last 3 years besides just writing and blah blah, these are highlights. I surprised myself really. Enjoy, and may your journey bring you as much excitement and fulfillment as you can muster.

Image

Poetry · Uncategorized

To Take

YI know what to take to go faster
I know what to take to slow down,
I know what to take to make me feel smarter,
I know what to take to not drown.
I know what to take to feel warmer
I know what to take to not frown.
I know what to take to get going
I know what to take to shut down.
I know what to take to make my mind feel free,
But the hardest part of knowing these things,
Is that I have no idea what to take to feel like me.

Poetry

The Effect

 

Waves aspire to new heights,

Crashing against the shore

Of our very existence.

Deteriorating our reality with time

As Life ticks away our victories.

 

Spending our time so wisely.

Finding the answer to Everything,

 

But knowing nothing of what we’ve lost,

We make mistakes again.

Saving only the worthless information

So we remember just the black and white.

Colors meant for the eyes, not the mind.